OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
