Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love having hate sex.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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