Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
