DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
