I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
