Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
