didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
