ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
