the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
