i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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