The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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