I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
