Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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