how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
