shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
