I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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