Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i permit you to call me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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