I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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