I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
