I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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