Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
