I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
