Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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