Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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