you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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