(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we're so committed to being not committed
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