HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
