I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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