I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i dont even know how to be here
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have aggressive nipples.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
