There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
