Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
