im drinking this country out of the recession.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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