then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
