were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
