oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
