Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize