i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Bring me that man meat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
