We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
