i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Everclear isn't food dammit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
