The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize