dude i'm inner monologue high
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize