Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
