I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
