i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
