The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
