so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
