I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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