Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
