You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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