there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize