Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
