I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
