Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
