sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
