is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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