If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
