I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
