Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
