what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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