I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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